How Do I Find Direction In A Toxic Environment?

In this episode, Dr. Betters answers the question, "Hello, I am a college-age female, and I feel that God has left me. I feel like I always tried to follow his path even when none of my family went to church. I felt all my life that God was telling me to go one direction in ministry and then, when it was time to apply for schools and I told people, they told me that was not my calling. I feel like I don't have direction anymore and no one cares about me. I feel like God has put me here all alone, and every time I feel very connected to God and that I am following the right path and feel at peace something happens or I'm told that I’m not good enough. I don't know if I even believe in God anymore. I have been sexually, physically, and emotionally abused all of my life and I now suffer from PTSD, depression, and anxiety. It's hard even at 20-some to leave such a toxic environment because I don't feel connected or have any support. I've been to Reach and the young adult group, but I don't feel like I belong, and no one would like me anyway. There are always so many people, and I will never be the popular one or the "chosen" one or the one who they are happy to see, so I have stopped going to church and everything all together, but I now feel even worse. I am always the outcast and people don't like me anyway. I don't know what to do. I don't know why I am so unclean, messed up, and unworthy. I don't know why God hates me so much and why no one really cares. I don't know what I should do. Does God even love me anymore or have a purpose for my life?"