Encouragement in the Wilderness of Suffering, Part 2

When you're trying to encourage a hurting friend:

A sensitive heart will say...

~I love you.

~I'm so sorry this has happened.

~Nothing. (But give lots of hugs and shed lots of tears.)

~I'll be in touch (and follows through).

~I'm praying (and does).

A sensitive heart will...

~Listen.

~Allow her friend to express all emotions and not interject judgmental comments, especially in the beginning.

~Read books that teach her how to help.

~Keep visits short, unless the hurting friend insists she stay longer.

~Discern when her friend needs to be alone, but not allow her to isolate herself completely.

~Assure her friend that she is not crazy, just brokenhearted.

~Offer to find more help when she senses her friend is sinking.

~Acknowledge the pain.

~Give permission to talk about the loss.

~Stay in touch for the long haul with cards, phone calls, and special remembrances on anniversaries, birthdays, special holidays.

~Ask the Holy Spirit for specific Scripture to share at the right moment and trust God to use them as a healing balm.

~Offer to do menial tasks (but never disturb the possessions of a deceased person without permission - i.e. do not clean out his or her room, change the bed, etc.).

~Recognize that grief is a long process.

~Tolerate volatile outbursts and intense emotions.

~Not expect or demand thanks.

~Pray, pray, pray every time she thinks of her friend.

From Treasures of Encouragement, pg. 191- 192

Used with Permission

Check out more resources that can help a grieving friend, Grief Resources.

What's your encouragement story?

Next: More practical ways to offer encouragement to a hurting friend. Until then, may God give you a deep sense of His sweet presence as you offer to your hurting friends the treasures of His encouragement.

In His grip,
Sharon