Grief and Anger, Part 4 of 4

A young woman hit by several deep losses through death asked for help in dealing with anger. She asked several friends, "I guess I'm in the anger stage of grief. I am so frustrated and taking my anger out on my husband and children. Some days I'm ready to explode. My family doesn't deserve to be treated like this. Help!"

The responses were so wise and helpful, I asked the women she asked for permission to share some of their advice with you. Over the next few days I'll post their comments with hope that they will encourage another who is struggling with the abyss of grief. This is Part 4.

Laura's Response

Thank you for reaching out; I really admire you for doing that. So many grieving people do not ...and instead continue to carry their burden without any encouragement or help. It is a difficult journey and I hope that you will continue to seek out those who will not only hold your hand along the way but also point you to Christ.

I personally struggled with a lot of anger, although it did not show itself for years. And I think there is great emotional and spiritual relief in being able to physically release that pent up anger. That's why it's coming out of you at home in ways you do not want it to. Find ways to get completely alone with God, away from the house and motherly responsibilities. Grief is laborious work, and it cannot be ignored or put off. I agree with what my mother-in-law said: put aside tasks that can wait (and many of them can!). Not only are you weary, but you need to make time for wrestling with God, time for the hard work of grief, and then time to rest in God's all consuming love for you.

When my husband was in the throes of intense grief he would run to the ocean.

 And I know of others who have done this as well. It was a place where he could be alone with God, in the presence of the vast waters and expansive sky. Find a place that is yours and His, where He can speak to you and where you can cry or scream to Him. And find friends who will help you to do this when you need to. I know that you have a very loving and supportive husband. Beat on his chest when you need to, and enable the grief to tear down walls around you instead of build them up. (If he needs someone to talk to about this, he can certainly ask my husband.) Like Heidi said: Keep talking. Talk to your husband and also find sisters who are good listeners.

Your Heavenly Father cares for you. He has clothed the lilies of the field and watches over the sparrow. How much more does he provide and watch over you? He has sent His only Son to be the perfect sacrifice for you...because he loves you that deeply. And He has given you His Holy Spirit, who intercedes on your behalf when your prayers have become nothing but groaning. Trust in the One who has already made a way for you...that He will continue to make a way for you until all of the strife of this world is put behind us forever. (Romans 8:18-39)

I am praying that your soul finds rest today, sister. Laura

Sharon