The Anchor Holds
by Patsy Kuipers
Today’s Treasure
We have this hope as an anchor for the soul, firm and secure.
Hebrews 6:19a
I suppose I should have expected his arrival. But, distracted by other things, I didn’t notice his approach until it was too late to bolt the door and deny him entry. By the time I perceived his presence, he’d unpacked his bags and flung a cloak of melancholy over my heart.
And just who was this uninvited guest? Loneliness.
After spending a week at the beach with my family, my house, usually a welcome oasis of tranquility, felt silent and empty instead. Nonetheless, being home alone wasn’t the calling card I referred to above. I could have invited a grandchild over or texted one of my daughters. No, the acute loneliness sprang from knowing that I couldn’t be with the one person I longed for most at that moment, my husband Ray.
As is often the case when I write or teach about scriptural principles and God’s promises, real life intervenes, compelling me to speak the truth I profess to myself, to apply the healing balm of assurance to my own woundedness. Such was the case that Saturday morning last September. I sat at my kitchen table while whispers of fall meandered through windows open to the breeze after summer finally loosened its stranglehold on metro Atlanta. And I pondered my despondent state.
A few days before I returned home, my podcast, “Loving Christ in the Midst of Loss”, aired on CDM’s enCourage website and I posted a companion article, “Stewarding our Stories,” on my blog. I have used both platforms to proclaim God’s faithfulness across the 22 years since Ray died suddenly at age 39 and accompanied my proclamation with the assurance we can trust God as He sovereignly writes even the most difficult chapters of our stories.
Thus the appearance of my uninvited guest should have come as no surprise. Besides, my defenses were down, weakened by responsibilities, and issues set aside while I was on vacation, only to be prayerfully resumed and mulled over when I returned. Consequently, I didn’t shoo my squatter away as quickly as I might have under different circumstances.
Rather, I embraced him. My mind wandered, taking my heart with it. I wished Ray was sitting at his place at the table, holding my hand, listening as I poured out my concerns, a scenario played out numerous times during our marriage. I thought about how pleasant it would be to work in the yard together on that first fall-like day. And I remembered a long-ago night when I crawled into bed tearful and exhausted, bemoaning how little time Ray and I had to do things together. Our daughters were small, one an infant, the other a toddler. The days were long and my to-dos unending. In his attempt to comfort me, Ray uttered words that have become increasingly poignant over the years, “They’ll grow up so fast and then we’ll have lots of time together.”
Oh, Ray. You were gone long before our nest emptied. The lots of time you promised didn’t come to be.
LIFE-GIVING ENCOURAGEMENT
Over two decades of widowhood have tempered the searing pain of loss. Body-racking sobs are rare, replaced by silent tears, the occasional overflow of a heart yearning for its missing piece. There’s a sigh deep in my soul, borne of sorrow mingled with longing and acceptance.
Even though those who belong to God don’t grieve as those who have no hope, we still grieve, because death wasn’t part of God’s good plan. It’s part of the curse, a severe consequence of Adam and Eve’s disobedience. Losing loved ones is painful and mourning our separation is a process, one that will continue until we’re reunited, as grief ebbs and flows. May we remember as much and be compassionate toward ourselves and others when the thorns of grief prick anew.
But there is hope, dear reader, now and eternally. Having found comfort in the promises of the One who’s vowed to never leave or forsake us, I dispatched my erstwhile visitor. Furthermore, I can reaffirm all I said in the podcast and wrote in my post. The bottom is good. The anchor holds. Victory is certain (1 Corinthians 15:54-56).
Faith refined by trials is more precious than gold. And life-tested truth allows me to say with hymn writer Louisa M. R. Stead,
“’Tis so sweet to trust in Jesus,
Just to take Him at His word,
Just to rest upon His promise,
Just to know ‘Thus saith the Lord.’
Jesus, Jesus, how I trust Him! How I’ve proved Him o’er and o’er!
Jesus, Jesus, precious Jesus! O for grace to trust Him more!”
Patsy Kuipers often refers to herself as “Gardening Grammie”, a title that encompasses two of her favorite pastimes. Widowed at age 38, she was blessed to be gainfully employed all the years she spent raising two daughters on her own. When her job was eliminated several years ago, she returned to school to study horticulture, a passion born of caring for the garden her husband left as part of his legacy. Patsy is Grammie to three small but enthusiastic garden helpers. She enjoys teaching them about plants and the One who created them. Patsy started her blog, Back 2 the Garden (patsykuipers.com), to tell others of God’s great love and faithfulness. She is a member of Grace Covenant Church in Dallas, GA where she serves on the Women’s Ministry Committee and leads women’s Bible studies.
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