I am afraid to pray for patience. What should I do?

In this episode, Dr. Betters answers the question, "I have three sons, two have special needs. I am overwhelmed by how hard it is to care for my boys. I want to pray for patience, but I am afraid that if I pray for patience, God will make my life unbearably hard in order to teach me patience. I cannot handle things being any worse than they are now, so I don't pray to God and ask for patience...What should I do?"

 
In this episode Dr. Betters answers the question, "I have three sons, two have have special needs. I am overwhelmed by how hard it is to care for my boys. I want to pray for patience, but I am afraid that if I pray for patience God will make my life unbearably hard in order to teach me patience.
 
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How is the suffering we bring upon ourselves different from the suffering God gives us to mature?

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Can we draw a comparison between how God lost His son to how we lose our children?