Prepare for Old Age When You are Growing Up, Grow Up, Not Old, Part 4a

"I was upstairs when I heard footsteps on the steps.  I live alone so I knew something was not right.  I peaked around the wall and saw a young man creeping up the staircase.  I stood at the top of the steps and yelled, 'What are you doing?  Get out of my house!'  Startled, he yelled back, 'Give me your pocketbook!  I want your money!'  I had just come back from the store and my pocketbook was in my hands.  I looked down at it, back at him and started running down the steps toward him, yelling, 'Get out of my house!  Who do you think you are?'  I screamed and repeatedly hit him with my pocketbook, pushing him down the steps.  He covered his head with his hands, turned and stumbled down the staircase, yelling, 'Lady, you're crazy!  You're crazy!  I'm going, I'm going!'  I didn't stop hitting him until I slammed the door behind him."

The first I saw this tiny, elderly woman was in the choir of our new church,

Logan United Methodist, located in a changing community in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania.  The District Superintendent had told Chuck that this church had a strong music program.  That first Sunday, we watched as five little old ladies stood in the choir loft and sang an anthem, accompanied by an accomplished organist on an enormous pipe organ.  We realized that the organ and organist was the strong music program.  About thirty-five people sat in the huge, old sanctuary.  My young husband, newly graduated from seminary, went home, put his face in his hands and cried, realizing the work ahead was more than anything we could have imagined.

I loved the old three story parsonage that we called home and I loved piling our two babies, 18 month old Heidi and six month old Chuckie, into a big carriage and pushing them to the store, the library or just to explore the neighborhood.  On a whim that day, I stopped by this woman's home.  She welcomed me in and then told me of her excitement the day before.

I was twenty-four years old and my eyes grew bigger and bigger as she painted a picture of her battle with the intruder.  I tried to imagine this very tiny old lady smacking a big teenager with her huge purse.  I asked, "Weren't you terrified?  Why didn't you just throw him your purse?"

She responded, "Sharon, I'm over ninety years old.  I've lived in this house by myself for over fifteen years.  My husband and son are long gone.  I have no living relatives.  My childhood friends are gone. I'm the last one. Every morning I ask the Lord, 'Is this the day?  Can I go Home today?'  I don't know why He hasn't taken me Home yet.  But I'm ready to go.  I have no fear of anything anyone could do to me.  And besides that, he made me mad!  How dare he try to rob me!"

I remembered this long ago moment as I considered Paul's last words to Timothy "For I am already being poured out like a drink offering, and the time has come for my departure.  I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith...." 2 Timothy 4:6-7

Paul does not speak of dying in this passage.  He talks about "departing."  He used the same concept when he told the Philippians that he had a desire to depart and to be with Christ, which is far better than being here. Paul's theology shines through in these words.  He is in prison, but he eagerly anticipates leaving this cell, being escorted by his God into Heaven.  He will soon pull up stakes and move on.

I Want to Go Home!
My little old lady friend wanted to go Home, desperately.  I was so young, it was hard for me to understand her longing. She asked her Lord every day if this could be the day.  For reasons she didn't understand, He said not yet.  And so, without knowing I was her student, she taught me how to grow up as she continued to live her life, singing in the choir, attending church activities, encouraging the new young pastor, praying for her church and pastor, walking to the store every day, welcoming naive young women like me into her life. She eagerly anticipated that moment when Jesus would come to walk her Home.  Like Paul, she was lonely (....everyone deserted me....2 Timothy 4:16b). She was lonely for her family and lifelong friends.  But like Paul, she was not afraid of death and she was not alone.  So what if a young man tried to rob her?  She reacted, trusting the outcome to her Lord.

I wanted to be just like her when I was old.  She was not a bitter, old lady, complaining about how no one came to see her or how useless she was. Now that I am closer to that season (remember, she was over 90 and I'm just 68) I realize her trust did come easily.

A lifetime of experiencing God's presence and choosing to grow in grace prepared her for this last chapter.  She chose trust and obedience.  And in those last days of her life, her response to what could have been a prison, impacted a young woman just starting out. I cannot remember her name, but I anticipate time with her in Heaven.

Paul declares, The Lord will rescue me from every evil attack and will bring me safely to his heavenly kingdom.  To him be glory for ever and ever.  (2 Timothy 4:18).  Paul knew he was facing beheading at the hands of Nero.  And yet, he sees even that possibility as the Lord rescuing him.  Paul's eternal perspective freed him from worrying about circumstances he could not control.  Review Paul's life and you could not conclude that he trusted God because his days were prosperous and easy.  Before Christ saved him, maybe.  But after meeting Jesus on that Damascus Road and embracing Him as Lord, Paul's life was anything but peaceful and protected.  No easy believism here. Paul's growth in grace cultivated an inner peace and surrender to God's perfect love and plans for him.   Paul declares that at my first defense, no one came to my support, but everyone deserted me. May it not be held against them. But the Lord stood at my side and gave me strength....2 Timothy 4:16-17.  Jesus was so real to Paul, that he felt him right next to him when no one else was there.  And he fully expected that same presence in this prison cell.

Breaking Down Prison Walls
Paul was waiting to depart, but until that day came, he had work to do.  He's mentoring Timothy, teaching him how to be a pastor, how to walk by faith.  He asks for his cloak - perhaps the cold cell was making his old bones even more achy and painful, we don't know because he doesn't complain. He also tells Timothy to bring my scrolls, especially the parchments.  Paul was old but he was still learning and eager to read and grow in the knowledge of his Lord.  He instructs Timothy to bring Mark with him because he is helpful to me in my ministry.  What ministry could Paul possibly have from a prison cell? Elderly Paul still wants to do but is not hesitant to ask for help to accomplish the tasks.  Can you imagine the mentoring that took place between Paul and Mark in those last days? And I love how Paul seems to be processing his life and sharing his conclusions with Timothy - we'll take a look at his self observations another time.

Rembrandt, Apostle Paul

Prepare for Old Age While Growing Up
The best time to prepare for growing old is while we are growing up.  Whether we are fifteen or fifty-five or eighty-five, as long as there is breath, we have the privilege of growing in grace as a means to prepare for those prison experiences.  And we will all have prison experiences. We see Paul in this prison cell as a godly man we want to emulate.  But don't be fooled, Paul struggled with fear so much that One night the Lord spoke to Paul in a vision:  'Do not be afraid; keep on speaking, do not be silent.  For I am with you.....(Acts 18:9 - 10).  He had feet of clay, he struggled in his faith walk.  Paul is the one who declared to the Philippians,  that he who began a good work in you will bring it to completion. Paul brought a lot of baggage into his Christian life - but at the end of his life, he was confident that God was keeping this promise. I think that when Paul concludes that he fought the good fight, part of the battle he is remembering was the sweetness and relief he experienced when receiving and embracing the grace of God to cover those sinful choices and moments when he didn't trust or obey.  We get to see the end of the story, the man who sees Jesus next to him, but the very human Paul learned trust in his God, the same way all of us do. Daily circumstances confronted him with a choice, minute by minute. The same choice confronts me again and again. Will I choose to believe God's promise of His presence and control or not?  Will I trust and obey?

Whenever I can, I encourage young women to "grow up" while they are growing up, to allow God's sandpaper, the circumstances of life, to sand off the rough edges and reveal the character of Jesus.  It's hard, isn't it? But every hard moment is an opportunity to grow in grace when we are young because the older we get, the less energy we have to deal with our snarky, self-centered selves. I think old age magnifies our character, so we better not think that we'll wait until we're elderly to become sweet little old ladies.  If we're sour and bitter now, it's likely we'll be even more sour and bitter then. Every little choice to soak in sound doctrine and apply scripture to our every day lives prepares us to trust God with the prisons that aging might bring and instead of feeling trapped, to anticipate our departure with readiness rather than dread.

In His grip and growing up with you,
Sharon