Contentment
In his letter to the Philippians, the Apostle Paul stated that he had learned to be content in all situations, whether facing plenty or hunger, abundance or need. When I think of contentment, I think of Aunt Mary Kate.
Born June 4, 1903, as the youngest of five siblings, Mary Kate Phillips was much like her older brother, my beloved maternal grandfather. Petite and grounded in her faith, she had a big heart that overflowed with love for others, especially her family.
She was born and raised in a simple wood-frame house in rural North Carolina. After she married, she moved with her husband to a 3-room dwelling comprised of a sitting area, bedroom, and kitchen, a stone’s throw from the house where she was born. For much of her life, she didn’t have hot water or an indoor bathroom. By the world’s standards, she was poor.
Aunt Mary Kate was just shy of her 44th birthday when she suddenly lost her husband to a stroke. She lived alone for nearly 50 years afterward, choosing not to remarry. It would have been so easy for her to become bitter as she faced life without her partner, raised two children on her own, and went without the material comforts most of us take for granted. Yet despite her meager means and being widowed young, I never heard her complain about the challenges and heartaches she faced.
My earliest memories of Aunt Mary Kate date back to when my grandfather was alive. We would sometimes cut through the field on our way to or from the post office to visit her. Even as a child, I enjoyed being with her, although my most cherished memories came later. Early in my 30-year career with a large corporation, I was responsible for customers in North Carolina. Aunt Mary Kate’s house was conveniently located between the Raleigh-Durham airport and one of the carpet mills I called on. I tried to visit her as often as possible. Although I saw Aunt Mary Kate at family gatherings, the one-on-one conversations during business-trip stopovers were the best.
Most of the time, I would show up unannounced, but Aunt Mary Kate was always thrilled when she opened the door to find me on her porch. She welcomed me into her tiny home with a big smile and a warm hug. Photos of family members lined the walls of her sitting room. She’d take time to tell me about one after another, beaming with pride as she recounted accomplishments or pointed out new babies. Based on her demeanor, you would have thought she lived in luxury, lacking nothing in terms of worldly comforts, even though that was far from the case.
Gratitude – being thankful for what you have rather than pining for what you don’t – is a key component of contentment. Sometimes I’d stop by the small general store near Aunt Mary Kate’s house and pick up a Coca-Cola and a Moon Pie for her. If you’d seen her smile and heard her expressions of appreciation, you’d have thought I’d given her something much more expensive. Her sincere delight in receiving the small tokens of my affection transformed them into priceless gifts.
Thus, when asked for an example of contentment, I always share my experience of Aunt Mary Kate’s gracious and grateful serenity. She has served as a shining example for me, as I lost my husband at age 38 and also raised two children on my own. Now, 29 years later, I recall how Aunt Mary Kate focused not on her loss, but on those who remained in her life, cherishing them. I endeavor to do the same.
LIFE-GIVING ENCOURAGEMENT
Contentment is about what’s on the inside. It’s not about our surroundings, our circumstances, or the value of our possessions. Nor is it an emotion. “It’s a state of being, anchored firmly in the confidence that God is sovereignly working out the details of our lives, moment by moment from beginning to end.”1 That’s why the Apostle Paul could say he’d learned to be content in any and every situation – the reason for his hope and the guarantee of his well-being, both temporal and eternal, rested in One who never changes. The same One Aunt Mary Kate loved and trusted.
On April 24, 1996, the Lord called her Home to a place of perfection and peace in His presence.
When I last visited North Carolina, I drove down the short, tree-lined path to Aunt Mary Kate’s house. I wanted to see it one more time to relive the tender moments I shared with her and savor the memories we made. But when I reached the end of the gravel road, there was only a grass-covered plot where her house had stood. Seeing the void made my heart hurt until I reminded myself that she no longer needs her earthly home.
I like to imagine visiting Aunt Mary Kate’s heavenly abode. I hope it will have a porch with a couple of rocking chairs where we can sit together as we used to long ago. I look forward to seeing her sweet smile again. I know I will, for Jesus has gone ahead to prepare a place for us and has promised to return and gather us to Himself, forever. Until then, I will treasure my memories of Aunt Mary Kate and strive to follow her example of contentment.
PRAYER
Dear Lord, thank You for the sweet memories and shining example I have of Aunt Mary Kate. I pray You will help me trust You to sovereignly ordain the details of my life and to express gratitude for Your many blessings as she did.
1Pastor Ben Duncan, sermon “The Secret of Contentment,” Grace Covenant Church, Dallas, GA, July 17, 2016.
Patsy Kuipers - Patsy often refers to herself as “Gardening Grammie,” a title encompassing two of her favorite pastimes. Widowed at age 38, she was blessed to be gainfully employed for all the years she spent raising two daughters on her own. When the corporation she worked for eliminated her job after a 30-year career, she returned to school to study horticulture, a passion born of caring for the garden her husband left as part of his legacy. Patsy relishes teaching her three grandchildren about plants and the One who created them, weaving stories of God’s steadfast love and faithfulness into their time together. She is a member of Grace Covenant Church in Dallas, Georgia, where she serves as an advisor to the Women’s Ministry Committee and leads women’s Bible studies. Patsy blogs at Back 2 the Garden (patsykuipers.com) to encourage others with the hope of the Gospel. She offers the same encouragement in her book, Be Still: Quiet Moments with God in My Garden. When she’s not writing or playing in the dirt, Patsy enjoys catching up with friends over a strong cup of tea.
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Sharon W. Betters is a mother, grandmother, great-grandmother, pastor’s wife, and cofounder of MARKINC Ministries, where she is the Director of Resource Development. Sharon is the author of several books, including Treasures of Encouragement, Treasures in Darkness, and co-author with Susan Hunt of Aging with Grace. She is the co-host of the Help & Hope podcast and writes Daily Treasure, an online devotional.
Contact Sharon with comments or questions at dailytreasure@markinc.org.