Legacy
My beloved maternal grandfather, PaPa, went to be with the Lord sixty years ago. Even though I was only six at the time, I clearly remember the moment Mom answered the phone, received the news, and then wailed, “No, not Daddy!”
Over the intervening decades, I’ve often marveled at how deeply I still feel PaPa’s love. Remembering his kind, gentle demeanor and the acceptance and security I felt in his presence moves me to tears, even though I didn’t get to spend much time with him during the not-quite-seven years we were on this earth together.
Since becoming a grandmother fourteen years ago, a desire to love my grandchildren equally well has joined my wonder at the loving bond between PaPa and me, a bond that has transcended the grave.
I cherish the memories of our little routines. I recall walking hand in hand with him to the small general store, stopping at the post office to check Box 73 for mail, and waiting for the train to come by so we could wave to the conductor and count the cars.
But my favorite activity was eating apples with him. PaPa would sit me on his lap; then, with an apple in one hand and his pocketknife in the other, he’d cut a slice for me, then a slice for himself. The process would continue back and forth until we finished the tasty fruit. For as long as I can remember, I’ve eaten an apple almost every day. When I do, I always think of my grandfather.
My mom’s recollections and those of several of my cousins, who were blessed to live in the same community as my grandfather, supplement and reinforce my own.
Mom was the baby of her family, the youngest of eight siblings, and her father’s darling. He called her “Babe,” warmed her clothes by the fire on cold mornings before she went to school, and waited for the bus to drop her off in the afternoons.
Mom recounted that her mother, sterner in demeanor, would occasionally delegate the task of disciplining a wayward child to my grandfather. He would take the offending party outside, out of her view, and tell the child to cry out while he used the switch on an inanimate object rather than on their legs.
One cousin shared that PaPa would bring her paper dolls from the small general store, while another recalled how he reveled in helping PaPa in his garden. Still another has memories similar to mine of sharing apples, slice by slice, while sitting in his lap.
The common denominator across all our reminiscences? The unconditional love we felt in PaPa’s presence. All of us knew we were safe and accepted in his presence.
As I reflect on our shared memories, it’s clear that none of them involve grand events, expensive vacations, or exotic destinations. Sharing life and simple rituals — like eating apples, counting train cars, and working together in the garden — have connected generations of our family.
I’m blessed and thankful that my grandchildren live close by and that I’ve seen them several days each week since they were born. Even though we’ve made memories on beach trips and other wonderful vacations, we treasure our little rituals, including sharing apples and gardening together. I pray that they, too, feel safe and accepted in my presence and that they will feel my love long after I’m gone.
LIFE-GIVING ENCOURAGEMENT
The most significant gift PaPa shared with me was his faith. I’ve wondered if he was the first in his family to trust in Jesus or was following in his forefathers’ footsteps. Regardless, PaPa was a faithful member of the small rural church within sight of his house, where he served as a deacon. Memories of attending church with him, going to Sunday school in the same room Mom did as a child, and visiting with relatives in the churchyard after the service are lovingly tucked in my mind alongside the others I have of him.
Carrying on our family’s legacy of faith is my highest calling as a grandmother. I endeavor to weave God into our conversations and experiences, pointing my grandchildren to the One Who created this great big, beautiful world and loved them enough to send His Son to die for them. It is a blessing and a privilege to come alongside their parents as they raise these precious children in the discipline and instruction of the Lord. And what a joy it is to worship side-by-side on Sunday mornings, our voices united in prayer and song!
I don’t get to visit the humble graveyard where my grandparents and many other maternal relatives are laid to rest as often as I’d like. My husband, Ray, rests there, too, near my sister, Mary Jeannette, who died in infancy. Three years ago, Mom took her place between them, leaving a space for me. Most recently, Dad joined them.
When I do visit the cemetery, I gaze at the tombstones, each representing someone I love and long to see again, and I ponder how glorious it will be when we all rise to new life, a life that will never end. For the love we share now is but a shadow of the Love that awaits when the Everlasting Arms reach out to embrace us and welcome us Home.
Until then, I’ll remain grateful for familiar rituals, such as eating apples with my grandchildren, and for a heritage of faith, lovingly shared, that can reach across the decades, blessing one generation after another.
PRAYER
O Lord, how great are the gifts of familial love and a heritage of faith! And what a privilege it is to tell the younger generations about Your steadfast love and faithfulness. Please help us to be unwavering in doing so, so that they, too, may know the joy and peace of belonging to Your family.
Patsy Kuipers - Patsy often refers to herself as “Gardening Grammie,” a title encompassing two of her favorite pastimes. Widowed at age 38, she was blessed to be gainfully employed for all the years she spent raising two daughters on her own. When the corporation she worked for eliminated her job after a 30-year career, she returned to school to study horticulture, a passion born of caring for the garden her husband left as part of his legacy. Patsy relishes teaching her three grandchildren about plants and the One who created them, weaving stories of God’s steadfast love and faithfulness into their time together. She is a member of Grace Covenant Church in Dallas, Georgia, where she serves as an advisor to the Women’s Ministry Committee and leads women’s Bible studies. Patsy blogs at Back 2 the Garden (patsykuipers.com) to encourage others with the hope of the Gospel. She offers the same encouragement in her book, Be Still: Quiet Moments with God in My Garden. When she’s not writing or playing in the dirt, Patsy enjoys catching up with friends over a strong cup of tea.
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Sharon W. Betters is a mother, grandmother, great-grandmother, pastor’s wife, and cofounder of MARKINC Ministries, where she is the Director of Resource Development. Sharon is the author of several books, including Treasures of Encouragement, Treasures in Darkness, and co-author with Susan Hunt of Aging with Grace. She is the co-host of the Help & Hope podcast and writes Daily Treasure, an online devotional.
Contact Sharon with comments or questions at dailytreasure@markinc.org.