Where Do I go From Here? The “Firsts”
Robin Davenport, Guest Writer
Today’s Treasure
For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven:
a time to be born, and a time to die;
a time to plant, and a time to pluck up what is planted;
a time to kill, and a time to heal;
a time to break down, and a time to build up;
a time to weep, and a time to laugh;
a time to mourn, and a time to dance;
a time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together;
a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing;
a time to seek, and a time to lose;
a time to keep, and a time to cast away;
a time to tear, and a time to sew;
a time to keep silence, and a time to speak;
a time to love, and a time to hate;
a time for war, and a time for peace.
Ecclesiastes 3:1-8 ESV
And I applied my heart to seek and to search out by wisdom all that is done under heaven.
Ecclesiastes 1:13 ESV.
King Solomon set out on a mission to understand life under the sun. In his quest for purpose and meaning, his goal was to experience every aspect of life available to him. He discovered that there is a season and a time for every matter under heaven.
Seasons represent a space of time that has a beginning and an ending. Following the flood in Noah’s time, God promised that as long as the earth remained, there would be seasons (Gen 8:21). King Solomon observed that seasons could also be applied to time-limited experiences of life, such as a time to be born and a time to die or a time to weep and a time to laugh. The examples King Solomon shares are extreme opposites, which reflect the extreme changes of seasons in our lives. These seasonal changes can happen suddenly, such as a drastic temperature change from one day to the next, or gradually, such as a slow transition from the sleeping winter to the early blooms of spring.
LIFE-GIVING ENCOURAGEMENT
Following the death of a loved one, measurements of time that point to the “firsts” become very important. The first morning you wake up to the realization that your loved one has passed. Then comes the first twenty-four hours, the first week, the first month, and on up until you reach the anniversary of the first year. Throughout that first year, you encounter the first birthday, the first Thanksgiving, the first Christmas, and the first of many family traditions without the presence of your loved one.
I was very apprehensive as our son’s first birthday without him approached. My heart cried out “I do not know how to do his birthday without him!” I had learned that grief is the emotion we feel, and mourning is how we express that grief. Mourning can be expressed in many ways according to what works for each person. I chose to collect toboggans and gloves to donate in honor of our son. We donated these items to the forensic unit at the state psychiatric hospital where he had spent twenty months. This donation drive relieved my grief and gave purpose to our son’s suffering and passing. My mourning was turned into dancing!
On the morning of the first anniversary of our son’s death, God provided our family with a precious gift. I walked outside that morning and looked up at the sky. My eyes were filled with a brilliant sunrise consisting of shades of red, orange, yellow, pink, and purple. I quickly captured a photo. Our granddaughters (our son’s daughters) had just witnessed the same sunrise coming up over a mountain range and shared their photos with us. Our family connected with one another that morning through that sunrise. In awe, our oldest granddaughter concluded, “Heaven is real that’s for sure.” We had just experienced a time to break down and a time to build up.
PRAYER
Father, thank You for the promise of seasons. Thank You that painful seasons are limited by time. Thank You for causing all things to work together for our good as You weave us through Your tapestry of times and seasons to create an eternal purpose. Heaven is real that’s for sure. In Jesus' name, amen.
Sharon W. Betters is author of Treasures of Encouragement, Treasures in Darkness and co-author of Treasures of Faith. She is Director of Resource Development and co-founder of MARKINC.org, a non profit organization that offers help and hope to hurting people. Sharon enjoys quality time with her husband, children, fourteen grandchildren, and one great-grandchild.
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Contact Sharon with comments or questions at dailytreasure@markinc.org.