Head Down and into the Wind
By Guest Writer, Kara Dedert
Today’s Treasure
Not only that, but we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, and hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us.
Romans 5:3-5
Violet has been joining me on snowy post-dinner jogs through our neighborhood; at six years old she’s surprisingly fast and still finds enough breath for conversation! I hear about the cool kids in class, dreams of what the next week might hold, and a hilarious collection of six-year-old random thoughts.
All summer and spring we road on a tandem-bike with a kid-size ride off the back of my mountain bike. It was a dream come true for both of us – I didn’t have to worry about her veering into the road and we could take long bike trips. Violet thought it was the greatest thing – she never had to watch where she was going which meant delivering endless commentary on the sights and the ability to go on long rides with minimal effort.
One day we took a long bike trip from our house and went around Reed’s Lake. Halfway around the lake, there’s a steep hill that always challenges me whether I’m running or biking. Doing it with Violet on the back left was another level of challenge. “Violet, pedal!” I shouted back. I reminded her that snacks were only for those who had worked hard and done their part. We picked up speed after that.
Soon after the wind started picking up and added more resistance. We talked less, we put our heads down, and thought of the end goal (home for me, snacks for her) the rest of the way. Little conversation and lots of effort.
A little conversation and lots of effort – that’s exactly where we’ve lived the last four months. The intensity of circumstances has demanded everything with little room for reflection or conversation.
I used to think that God protected us from being totally spent, from breaking. I’ve realized now that following Jesus often involves being constantly broken and then constantly bound up with our hope in Christ. Again and again.
He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.
Psalm 147:3
He heals and binds up, not prevents and cushions. He allows us to descend into places that overwhelm our emotions, physical capacities, and comprehension. Hope in Christ changes our goal from deliverance of circumstances to simply being faithful in them. Because that is the real work isn’t it? Learning how to be faithful when things don’t get better.
When Calvin came home, there was no time for relief. Darryl and I rolled up our sleeves and got to work learning how to manage new equipment, alarms, troubleshoot and 24-hour care. Essentially, we’ve been living on a construction job sight, running an ICU in the living room with a 24-hour B & B on the side (thankfully the 5 patrons aren’t able to leave reviews; the service has been terrible and the accommodations have been in hopeless chaos during the construction!).
Food, homework, the stuff of life – it continues regardless of the emergency in the next room. Painters are late and construction carries on and life falls apart! It doesn’t stop. So you pick up your paintbrush with your hubby and paint til midnight and carry on even when you feel like protesting and quitting.
Hope in Christ means not melting away in grief but resolving to step into the next day, free from an entitlement of what we thought this life might offer knowing in Christ we already have the best of this life and the next.
We remind each other of this by singing our hearts out after dinner. When we see the other with the head in the hands. When the alarms never end. When it’s painful to even look at what our son is going through. This is not the end.
Not only that, but we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, and hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us.
Romans 5:3-5
Most of the time all I feel is the exertion, the desire to quit, the weakness, the frustration that I can’t fix this. The reality of presenting life as a living sacrifice has shattered any idealized glory I thought it had. But in Christ it makes us strong, resolved and determined. He’s the bridge between suffering and hope. So keep on battling against the wind. Put your head down. Ignore the tiredness you feel. The end is not in sight, but hope is already here.
PRAYER
You, oh Lord make us strong, resolved and determined. May we lean into Your strength and realize our weakness is a call to settle into Your embrace and promises.
Originally posted at www.karadedert.com, Feb 16, 2020
Kara Dedert is the creator of Root and Grow, a midwest mom to five and wife to Darryl. She writes regularly on faith, special needs, parenting, and home. Her writing has been featured at Key Ministry, Live Better With Disability, Break the Parenting Mold, the Bible Study Magazine, and Fox 17.
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