Joy in the Mourning - Again by Sharon W. Betters

 

Personal life circumstances make it impossible for me to write anything new this Christmas, but I have so many dear friends broken by grief and I want to encourage them that joy does come in the mourning.  I see their dark sorrow, the hopelessness in their words and their longing for a word, anything, that will give them hope, break the unending ache.  And so, I share this post once more, from my heart to those whose hearts are broken.  Grief is hard and long and arduous. But there is hope.

Joy in the Mourning

A few years ago I wrapped up a speaking engagement by asking the women to turn to Psalm 30. Something supernatural happened as I began to read. I realized that God was keeping His promises to turn my weeping into joy.
My theme for the conference was Treasures in Darkness and throughout the weekend I had shared the story of our son, Mark's death and how I wrestled to reconcile God's love with His sovereignty. I told the women that sometimes I think about our life pathway and wonder at how I am able to breathe, to live with eternal purpose and experience joy in the journey. I have to conclude that God is keeping His promise that before the foundation of the world was laid, He gave me everything I need to perform the good works He planned out for me to do in my lifetime. His definition of good works is so different from mine. Sometimes when I'm speaking I know that my words are foreign and outrageous to the listeners. It's only by the gift of faith that we can recognize His equipping and take steps toward fulfilling His plans for us.

Ginger Bread Houses and Trains! Yay!!

In that supernatural moment during my speaking engagement a light went on in my soul and God seemed to quickly run a video of the many reasons for joy that I have in my life. Of course, my first snapshots were of my husband's faithful love, the walk of obedience in each of our children's lives, their marriages that reflect commitment to one another and biblical love and the joy of our grandchildren.


 I thought of the deep belly laughter that often filled our house when everyone gathered for family celebrations. Yes, we still had our private moments of missing our son, but our hands and hearts were open to receive the treasures God had designed to give us hope and help in the dark, secret places of our souls.

I exclaimed to the audience, "Next to verse 10, 'Hear, O Lord and be merciful to me; O Lord, be my help' I wrote and underlined the word "PLEASE!"

"And in the margin next to verses 11 and 12, 'You turned my wailing into dancing; you removed my sackcloth and clothed me with joy, that my heart may sing to you and not be silent. O Lord, my God, I will give you thanks forever.' I wrote,

When will you do this for my family?"

I continued, "I well remember the anguish in my soul when I begged God for grief relief. And in this very moment, I can proclaim that God is keeping the promise of Psalm 30."

Now, lest you get the wrong idea, please know that 19 years later, I long for Mark. I miss him so.

 But in those moments of deep anguish, there is a place of joy that I can go where grief relief waits. Grief set up residence on our home on July 6, 1993. But one day unbeknownst to us Joy slipped in and gently started pushing Grief off of center stage. Grief still resides in our home but Joy has taken up permanent residence as well. Sometimes Joy fades into the background when Grief demands our attention. But Joy always comes back.



Christmas Tea with our Grand Daughters and Their Moms

It's sometimes hard to remember this promise during the holiday season that is so focused on family and Hallmark Card vignettes.
This special "aha moment" helps me refocus when the grief threatens to throw out the joy.  Every December we join our church family to celebrate the most wonderful gift of all,Jesus. We expect moments of joy as we connect with our covenant family and believers all over the world through the grace gift of Communion, corporate worship and soul-lifting teaching from God's Word. We'll spend special time with our children and grandchildren, soaking up the joy that exudes from their hugs and giggles. We'll miss Mark and we'll cry for what we don't have.

 But by God's amazing grace, we will remember that He is keeping His promises to turn our wailing into dancing, to remove our sackcloth and clothe us with His mysterious joy. I do not take one minute of joy for granted.


O Lord my God, I will give you thanks forever. Psalm 30:12b
In His Grip,
Sharon

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Updated from a blog originally posted December 25 , 2009