Post Mother's Day
Mother's Day Update. Studies abound that a spirit of gratitude contributes to not just our emotional health, but physical health as well. I've tested that conclusion in my own life more than once. Starting as a young wife and mother, I've kept blessing lists and Think on These Things Lists (Phil. 4:8), especially when I've struggled with depression and feeling blue. This past Mother's Day weekend, I saw just how effective choosing gratitude can be.
Mark's birthday (May 11) and Mother's Day fell on the same weekend. For many years the anticipation of these two dates filled me with dread. How could I laugh or rest in the blessings surrounding me when such a huge part of my heart was gone? Chuck and I try to fill these days with activity - with the hopes that our hearts will not dwell in the darkness. As the years have gone by, the extreme grief has lessened. But one thing hasn't changed.
In the days before that special date, I feel gnawing sadness, a restlessness, a longing for something more. No matter how "normal" and "good" I feel as May unfolds, by Mother's Day, the buried sadness bubbles to the top of my heart. And for all of you who grieve, that's not a bad thing. There is a mysterious power held by sorrow. It shapes our emotional DNA and frankly, I don't know of one bereaved parent who would wish it to forever fade.
I give myself permission to cry and remember. As the years have passed by, it's become easier to move from the tears into embracing the blessings that surround me. Here's a secret, the ghost of grief is always close by but I'm not afraid of it anymore. Its presence sharpens my view of joy and cultivates contentment and thankfulness for every treasure God drops into my life.
Chuck and I spent Mark's birthday running errands, getting the garden ready and putting flowers on the cross that marks the place on the highway where our son met Jesus. And we looked forward to opening our hearts to the treasures planned for us by our God, treasures designed to turn our hearts toward Him.
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| Alice in Wonderland, Produced by Glasgow Christian Academy Homeschool, Pictures courtesy of Bob Mercer |
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| Mollie as the cutest Dormouse You'll Ever See! |
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| Katie, as the Beautiful White Queen - "Rest Now!" |
For many years, I cried through the whole Mother's Day service. But God's treasures in the darkness slowly turned my heart toward His joy in the sorrow. Every Mother's Day we give a scholarship, the Mark Nathan Betters Church Service and Christian Character award, to a deserving high school senior or college freshman. The choice this year was very difficult because we have a strong group of young men who serve Jesus diligently in their personal and church lives. The award was even more special when our grandson, Markie, announced that his childhood friend, Nathaniel Heil, was the recipient. Markie read a tribute of numerous comments made in the nominations for Nate.
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| Markie congratulating Nate - two young men who have grown up together |
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| Our Grandson, Markie, named after our son, Mark, reading the tribute to Nate |
During the worship service, seven of our covenant children shared the gospel by memory. They were part of a group of about 40 kids who took the Telling Your Story training where they learned how to introduce a friend to Jesus. What a moving moment to see children expressing their faith with memorized scriptures.
Glorious music led us to the preaching of the Word and what a joy to listen as our son, Chuck, opened up the passage in Ezekiel 37. As Son Chuck, preached, God reminded me that our son, Dan, was also sharing the gospel at Stone's Throw, in Middletown, the town where I grew up (For More on Stone's Throw and the Roots of Legacy). Almost too much to grasp!
God used the message of Ezekiel to reinforce His calling to me and I hope to share more on this "treasure" in a future post. You can hear the full message by clicking this link.
As I walked to the back of the sanctuary after church, there was Mark's high school friend, Dave. After Mark's death, I received such comfort from the hugs of his friends. I felt as though I was hugging part of my son and tears blur my vision even as I write those words. Dave continues to make sure I get those hugs on special days, such as Mark's birthday and Mother's Day. What a treasure.
The "boys" were in charge of dinner (and that's a loose term) so we had plenty of protein and a few side dishes - and the girls concluded that's probably what the men wish they had all the time! My one desire for the day was for everyone to be in the house because it's been a while since we were all in one place. So the house was noisy and at times chaotic. One of my favorites was watching and hearing the grandchildren interact. I have concluded that one of my most important roles in this season of life is creating a safe place for our grandchildren to make memories and experience extended family times. Mission accomplished yesterday. Thanks, "boys" for making the meal and Greg for overseeing the clean up.
And to finish off the weekend of treasures, the winner of Miracles and Moments of Grace, Inspiring Stories from Moms by Nancy Kennedy
May each of you experience God's amazing grace as you walk by faith and choose to embrace the treasures in the pathway He has marked out for you!
In His grip,
Sharon