Cousins Camp, Scrapbooking and Those Yet Unborn

I wrote this about five years ago and true confession, I struggled with whether to post it again, at this time on this blog, because I haven't followed through with all of my intentions in the way I thought I would.  Time goes by so quickly and fulfilling the desires of my heart is harder than expected.  But it's not too late to adjust my expectations in order to reach my goals.

Lots of Giggling in Here!

"You girls are doing a lot of giggling in here!" Ten year old granddaughter, Katie and I looked at each other and giggled some more at Chuck's words. Scrapbooking supplies, pictures and albums covered the dining room table. We were almost finished sorting, cutting and pasting pictures and reminiscing about Cousins Camp. For the past five years Chuck and I have given our kids and their kids a week at the beach. The first year we took five of the grandkids to the beach house by ourselves. The parents were to follow mid-week. We dubbed it Cousins Camp. I was clear with the moms that I wanted the kids by myself for a few days. Yet, when they called after the first twenty-four hours and said they were coming a day early but that I would still be in charge of the kids, every grandmother reading this knows how happy I was to hear those words! More on that another time.

Katie, 2008

For the past two years at Cousins Camp the girls spent most of the week writing a play script and accompanying songs for their annual performance. Laughter bubbled over as Katie and I remembered the grand finale when seven-year-old Prince Benjamin kissed seven-year-old princess Mollie. Katie exclaimed, "I think we bribed Benjamin!"

Katie asked me why I wanted her to come over by herself because usually if I have one grandchild, I invite the rest of them to visit so they can have time together. I decided to tell Katie the truth. "We haven't had much time together this summer and you're growing up so fast. I don't want you to run by me. I miss you!"

"I missed you, too, Grammy."

Other grandmothers have told me that as their grandchildren got older, it was harder to connect with them. The special relationships they enjoyed when the children were more dependent often unraveled as the kids experienced more of life through school, sports and social activities.

I'll never forget listening to several grandmothers in Florida (I was eavesdropping while sitting at a pool) describe their dread of their teenage grandchildren coming to visit. According to these older women, the kids were disrespectful, ungrateful and lazy. They were users, only interested in visiting grandparents because it meant a trip to Florida. They never communicated with their grandparents otherwise. They were glad that because they lived so far away, they didn't have to attend all the sports and school activities, concerts, performances.

I know that the rejection of family and all authority is not always the fault of the adults. Kids are responsible for their choices. I had several grandchildren when I heard this conversation. I knew I did not want to be like these women when I grew up

I compare this pool-side conversation to the comments of a fellow grandmother as we talked about staying connected to teenage grandchildren. She described the difficulty of keeping up the intimacy when the kids' lives are so busy. Then she said, "So, I try to think of ways to spend time with my grandkids that appeal to where they are. I just had lunch with my granddaughter and the way I got her to meet me was to treat her to a pedicure." Instead of seeing this gift as a bribe, this wise grandmother knows she is investing in a lifelong friendship.

Cousins Camp, 2008

My worldview demands a different pathway than the poolside grandmoms had chosen. And though mine requires thinking, planning and some sacrifice, the rewards are priceless. Just this morning as I considered the many tasks waiting for me and then anticipated Katie's visit and prayed for our time together, I read, "Future generations will be told about the Lord. They will proclaim his righteousness to a people yet unborn, for he has done it." I knew that God was reminding me that the most important and precious "task" for that day was my time with Katie. Katie might think we were just scrap booking. But some day she will understand that the special moments with Grammy helped lock into her heart the power of family and legacy. She doesn't understand now that the gift of Cousins Camp,

Cousins Camp, 2010, With all 14 Grands!

A few of my "girls"

a week at the beach with the entire family, is not given just because we all love the beach. She doesn't know that because of these special family times, one day Katie and all the cousins will make sure that they plan extended family gatherings for their children, our great grandchildren, those yet unborn, because they cherish the memories of Cousins Camp, Sunday spaghetti dinners and sleepovers at Grammy and Grand Dad's, shopping trips, baking Syrian bread, making grape leaves, setting the table for holidays, picking tomatoes, snuggling as many cousins as possible on Grammy's lap for a story or watching a movie.

Katie Today

Someday they might realize that while they were spending time with Grammy and Grand Dad, God was helping shape their worldview and planting seeds of wisdom that fell from the fruit of Grammy and Grand Dad's life journey into their hearts. And slowly but surely they will realize that one of the underlying purposes for all of these special times was to create a safe place for our treasured grandchildren to see Jesus and experience Jesus.
And now I'm making plans to have eight of the younger grands over for their treasured cousins' sleep over.  And figuring out how to snag some time with the older ones, too. What's your Grammy story? And especially how do you stay connected to your older grandkids?

In His grip,
Sharon