Every Day Lived Since Cancer Seems Like Sweet Victory
Thirty-nine years old. Four children, ages 10, 11, 15, 17. A husband I adored. A much anticipated vacation a week away. A phone call with the message, "You need to see a surgeon. Your mammogram results are suspicious." "We're leaving on vacation in a week. Can it wait until I get back?" Silence. "No, Mrs. Betters, it cannot wait." At that moment, Breast Cancer forcibly took our family on an unwanted journey into a foreign country.
Breast Cancer Awareness Month takes me back to those days but more, it's an opportunity for me to review how God has redeemed the pain of those terrifying months. During my battle against Stage 3 breast cancer, I told Chuck I felt guilty that I could not joyfully say,
"I'm thankful for the cancer because......"
In time, I began to see the intangible gifts in fighting a cancer diagnosis. One of the best take a-ways was a commitment to never take life for granted. Instead of saying no to a day at the beach because my to do list was too long, I jumped at every opportunity to spend time with our little family. Cancer taught me that life on this earth is short, to make the most of every minute. James 4:14 came alive:
Why, you do not even know what will happen tomorrow. What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes.
Little did I know that six years after my battle with breast cancer, that I would battle grief over the death of our sixteen-year old son. How grateful I was for all those special family memories that I might not have had if I had never had cancer. It was the morning after my surgery, that the Lord showed me the scripture:
I will give you the treasures of darkness, riches stored in secret places, so that you will know I am the Lord your God, the One Who calls you by name. (Isaiah 45:2-3)
And the sweet promise from Lamentations: I will give you new mercies every day. Look for them. I knew God was not promising to heal me, but He was promising to send me love notes to remind me that He was always near, I would never be alone in this battle. He knows me by name!
God continues to redeem the pain and loss of those days in ways I could never have imagined.
Chuck and I produced an hour long interview on our Breast Cancer journey for our Help and Hope Resource audio library. I listened to that interview a few years ago and wished I could pull back every one of them - we were so transparent and shared the kind of intimate details we would have wanted someone to share with us as we started our own journey. But such sharing required me dying to self. When I was diagnosed, I did not want anyone to know I had BREAST cancer. Although hard for young women to imagine today, back then, modesty existed. Shortly after my diagnosis I was stunned to learn my "secret" was out and that a local pastor had announced to his congregation that I had breast cancer. Dying to self is hard and after crying and feeling completely exposed, I faced a crossroads. Stay angry or submit to circumstances beyond my control and find ways to honor Jesus in this journey.
I was diagnosed with breast cancer around the same time as Nancy Reagan. Instead of protecting her privacy, she went public. A public figure exposing such a personal disease grabbed the attention of the media. Diagrams and explanations of breast cancer, treatments, prognosis, etc. dominated the news. Every where I turned I heard about breast cancer. Once more, my theology confronted me with a choice - try to maintain my privacy or give Him my circumstances to use in whatever way He desired to help turn hearts toward Him. Once that decision was made, I was able to channel all of my energy into fighting this disease.
My theology teaches me that God will not waste anything in our lives if we surrender each part to Him for His glory and purposes. Every gift, circumstance, even shattered dreams, are opportunities for God to redeem and transform into channels of His compassion, designed to help turn hearts toward Him. Cancer reminded me that He means it when He says in Isaiah 61:3:
[He will] provide for those who grieve in Zion—to bestow on them a crown of beauty instead of ashes, the oil of joy instead of mourning, and a garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair. They will be called oaks of righteousness, a planting of the Lord for the display of his splendor.
If you or someone you know is battling breast cancer, perhaps our journey will help make their battle a little easier. What makes this resource unique is that Chuck shares a husband's perspective and how a husband can love his wife through this war for her health.
This is a free resource. You can download or listen to it on our Help and Hope page.
In His grip,
Sharon