“I Have Regrets After My Parents Passed”

In this episode, Dr. Betters answers the question, “I'm praying for my health problems from last 10 years, before that I was Hindu. I accepted Jesus in 2010, but still, I'm not getting healing. I'm feeling like I have to live like this & losing hope recently. Last year my mother passed away due to the wrong surgery. 6 months before her death I went to India to take care of her. First, my husband said no, but I convinced him, fought with him that I will return in 40 days. He agreed. When I went to India, I was in severe depression, anxiety, I have a loss of appetite for 18 yrs. I lost sleep for 20 days. Then when I went there, my mom is in bed, but walking slowly. Worrying for pennies, so many times I told her not to worry about money, because over the last 10 years we are taking care of her. Paying for tests, tickets to the USA, and medicines, check ups. We are ready to pay so much money, but she became like a penny pincher. I got angry in India; it was 100f temperature and she used to turn off the fan. I got angry and had hatred towards her. She used to do that when she came to the USA. I told her not to do it. She shouted at me for wasting dollars. I was really heartbroken. And I insisted to take traditional medicine in India. I thought she will recover fast; they suggested a restricted diet -- after her death, I came to know that she hated that diet. I'm thinking I'm the reason for everything, that because of me she got weaker, due to that she was hospitalized, they did the wrong surgery, and when I came back also, she shouted on that day, so I showed hate. Now I'm in terrible guilt. I know God forgives but still not able to come out. She did a lot of good to me and my sister, but I acted like that. Everyone praises me for how much care I took, but I feel terrible & she lost faith in God before death, now I'm questioning whether she is in heaven or not. How do I know? All of these questions are killing me.”