Men and Women Glorifying God Together
Men and Women are different, and this is a very good thing; but experiencing and enjoying this goodness does not come naturally. We need to be discipled to think biblically about all of life, including gender, and to live covenantally as we give expression to God’s male and female design and calling. This design is rooted in covenantal soil and reflects the unity and diversity of our Triune God.
Peter instructed men to live with their wives “in an understanding way” (1 Pet. 3:7). The reverse is also true, and it doesn’t seem too much of a stretch to apply this to men and women serving together in the church. We cannot understand each other without understanding our and their gender callings.
From Genesis 2:7-17:
Then the LORD God formed the man of dust from the ground… The LORD God took the man and put him in the garden of Eden to work it and keep it. And the LORD God commanded the man, saying, “You may surely eat of every tree of the garden, but of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil you shall not eat, for in the day that you eat of it you shall surely die.
Man was created first—indicating headship.
Man’s calling: work and keep—provide and protect.
The man was designated the representative for all mankind in the Covenant of Works.
Then in Genesis 2:18:
Then the LORD God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.”
The Hebrew word translated helper is “ezer”. In the Old Testament, God is often referred to as our Helper. Some of the ways God helps us:
Defends - Exodus 18:4
Sees, cares for the oppressed - Psalm 10:14
Supports - Psalm 20:2
Delivers from distress - Psalm 70:5
Comforts - Psalm 86:17
These are nurturing, relational words.
Peter explains how men and women can understand each other: “Since [we] are heirs together of the grace of life” (1 Pet. 3:7).
As equal heirs of the grace of life, we have God’s Spirit living in us. He gradually transforms us into His likeness, so that we reflect His glory (2 Cor. 3:18). When we glorify Him in our gender callings, we and our churches will witness to the world the balance and beauty of the gospel mystery that men and women are equal but different.
My spiritual daughter, Connie, rushed her 57-year-old husband Mark to the hospital. Within a few hours, they were told he had cancer that had metastasized to the bones. Once they had absorbed the shock, Mark began talking about meeting with their accountant to ensure their finances were in order. Connie resisted. She did not want to have this conversation, but soon she began thinking biblically. She posts an update online each week. In one post, she wrote:
Mark and I are understanding God’s design for husband and wife more clearly. It is not a popular idea in today’s culture to define the man as provider and protector and the woman as the helper and life-giver, but it is biblical and good. And there is joy and peace in living out our design as God intended.
Mark has spent a lot of time preparing our finances and making sure I am taken care of. At first, I struggled with this because it seemed we were preparing for the end, but God showed me this is an example of Mark being the provider and protector God designed him to be. I am thankful, humbled, and comforted by his willingness to do this. It strengthens me to be the helper and life-giver I am designed to be.
In the book of Judges, Deborah, the judge, and Barak, the warrior, show what this looks like in the church. Their story is an example of a man and woman serving together to extend God’s kingdom while each fulfills their creation design. (See Heirs of the Covenant Chapter 5.)
When the Men’s Ministry, Women’s Ministry, and Youth Ministry disciple God’s covenant family to think biblically and live covenantally—including an understanding of God’s design for male and female—families and the church flourish.
LIFE-GIVING ENCOURAGEMENT
As God’s Spirit transforms us into His likeness, we increasingly think biblically by asking:
Does my thinking about gender begin with God or with myself?
Is God’s Word, or my feelings, my authority?
Is my purpose God’s glory or my own glory?
Have I considered that the male and female perspectives can differ?
Am I living in the reality of God’s presence with me and asking Him to give me wisdom and grace to glorify Him?
Rather than compare and compete, we begin to value each perspective and calling and see how each complements and supports the other. Respect, gratitude, and unity flourish. We live and serve together in an understanding way.
PRAYER
“Our Father in heaven, hallowed be Your name. Your kingdom come, Your will be done on earth as it is in heaven” (Matt. 6:10). Amen.
Susan Hunt with Stephen Estock and Karen Hodge, Heirs of the Covenant: A Framework for Discipleship in the Church
Additional resource: Heirs of the Covenant Hub
Susan Hunt is the widow of PCA pastor Gene Hunt, a mother, grandmother, and great-grandmother. She is the former PCA Coordinator for Women’s Ministry and author of several books, including Heirs of the Covenant and TRUE, the discipleship curriculum series on biblical womanhood for teen girls. She co-authored Transformed: Life-taker to Life-giver and Life-giving Leadership with Karen Hodge, as well as Aging with Grace with Sharon Betters. She has also written several books for children.
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Sharon W. Betters is a mother, grandmother, great-grandmother, pastor’s wife, and cofounder of MARKINC Ministries, where she is the Director of Resource Development. Sharon is the author of several books, including Treasures of Encouragement, Treasures in Darkness, and co-author with Susan Hunt of Aging with Grace. She is the co-host of the Help & Hope podcast and writes Daily Treasure, an online devotional.
Contact Sharon with comments or questions at dailytreasure@markinc.org.