Father, Forgive Them
I was sitting in a small Bible discussion group when the topic of forgiveness came up. One of the participants, without any trepidation, said, “I will never forgive my...” After breaking the ice on biblical truths, many other women concurred that they had someone in their life they couldn’t forgive.
Let’s face it, forgiveness is tough whether male or female. But for women, it may be an even higher hurdle to jump because we are emotionally driven. Scientific studies show that the corpus callosum (which connects the brain’s hemispheres) is larger in women, with more cross-wiring between the two sides of the brain, which is attributed to our ability to connect and bond. God designed women, through our brains and hormones, to display empathy more naturally and to make deep relational connections more broadly than men. Thus, hurts embed deep into our minds and souls.
These differences are the beauty of God’s design, equal but different and together powerful in Christ. As the mother of four boys and now grandmother to six grandsons, I can attest to these differences when watching them play. I’ve had to interrupt more than a few physical altercations with the boys. Boys are more risk-taking and physical in their interactions, while girls are more risk-averse. I love how one writer put it: Women often use a “tend and befriend” approach, while men have a “fight or flight response”. Perhaps that gives credence to the inner battle women face when offended.
I have had my share of unforgiveness in my heart. However, a much-needed course correction comes when I set my mind on how much God has forgiven me. Fixing my eyes on Christ makes it an easier route to open my heart to His example when it comes to my own personal hurts and betrayals:
Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.
Ephesians 4:32
So, after sitting quietly for a while through thisdiscussion, I decided to bring Jesus into the conversation to lend a rightly needed perspective. I asked, Can you imagine how Jesus felt after facing twenty-four hours of emotional hell? Think about this: A follower and friend betrayed him — and with a kiss. His best friend denied him three times, and his other friends deserted him.
Jesus faced his demise alone and abandoned by men. He was paraded through a series of illegal trials. Savage soldiers beat at him. He was almost flogged to death, placed before a blood thirsty mob, and endured the most horrific of all punishments ever devised in the torture of Roman crucifixion.
People jeered as His hands and feet were spiked into the wood of the cross with metal stakes, and He was hung between two criminals, while religious leaders looked on, sneering. It was there that He spoke these most powerful words.
“Father, forgive them.”
What!
LIFE-GIVING ENCOURAGEMENT
Those words are the very basis of our salvation. We are the recipients of all the pain and torture He went through on our behalf. These three words have echoed through eternity and give every tribe, tongue, and nation access to the Father.
When we pray, “Father, forgive them,” we set ourselves free from the bondage of bitterness. We unloose the prisoner within us. Praying this prayer is not optional for a healthy Christian—but is a mandatory part of our sanctification process.
“Fixing our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of faith. For the joy set before him, He endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.”
Hebrews 12:2
So, if you’re reading this and you can think of someone that you can’t forgive, then you owe it to yourself to stop right now and say, “Father help me to forgive them, because you have forgiven me.”
PRAYER
Lord, this one is hard, perhaps harder today because Your word challenges us to open our hands and hearts to the freedom which forgiving others brings, and we hesitate because we are so accustomed to carrying the hurt, bitterness, anger, sorrow, and grief. May Your Holy Spirit continue to pierce our hearts with the power of forgiveness and show us how to take that first step. Amen.
Andrea Maher is the former editor-in-chief of PARENT ABC’S, a monthly magazine. Her writings have been featured in local newspapers and parenting publications nationwide. She writes a monthly blog, Women Arise, for Soldiers for Faith Ministries. She is the author of SLAMMED: Overcoming Tragedy in the Wave of Grief, and her newly released book, “LETTERS TO MY SON: Solely a God-Story” is available through Amazon.
She is the executive director of the Be Still Foundation, a ministry that disseminates hope and encouragement to families in crisis. She has been married to her husband John for 50 years and has four children and 12 grandchildren, with another expected in the spring. You can listen to Andrea’s MARKINC Help & Hope story: Surviving a Tsunami of Grief, and her son, Matt’s Help & Hope Story: One Wrong Decision Can Change Everything.
Link to Andrea’s Help & Hope interview https://markinc.org/help-and-hope/2018/4/19/breaking-free-from-the-tsunami-of-grief-a-conversation-with-andrea-maher?rq=andrea%20maher
For more from Andera, visit:
https://www.bestillfoundation.org/blogs?author=5f8b589c3a10846d623672ff
Reprinted from www.bestillfoundation.org with permission from Andrea Maher
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Sharon W. Betters is a mother, grandmother, great-grandmother, pastor’s wife, and cofounder of MARKINC Ministries, where she is the Director of Resource Development. Sharon is the author of several books, including Treasures of Encouragement, Treasures in Darkness, and co-author with Susan Hunt of Aging with Grace. She is the co-host of the Help & Hope podcast and writes Daily Treasure, an online devotional.
Contact Sharon with comments or questions at dailytreasure@markinc.org.
