Cultural Perfection
Cultural Perfection: When I was a child, nothing thrilled me more than a visit to my grandmother’s house. Her name was Goldie, and it was my joy to spend time with her. On most occasions, my siblings and I would arrive at her home, and she would always greet us at the door in a pretty dress, with a starched apron and coiffed hair. It was the early 1960’s, and that is the way things were. When you entered the house, the smell of freshly baked cookies filled the air. She was an amazing cook! Her house was immaculate, and to me, she was perfect in every way. At an early age in my life, I decided in my heart that I was going to be just like her — perfect in every way! She encouraged this cultural attitude in me by telling me that the way you kept your home reflected the type of woman you were. “Always keep a clean house.” She would say. “Always look polished and put together.” She taught me that you should greet your husband with a smile and make his favorite dinners. This was how I was trained as I grew up, and it was the cultural mindset of the times. Be perfect!
Fast forward 10 years, and I am married with kids, and flying through life like a crazy monkey swinging on trees. Living a picture-perfect life is much easier said than done, and I wasn’t living up to the standard that my grandmother had set for me. Not only was I missing the mark, but the stress of trying was impacting every area of my life. I continued to strive towards the goal of achieving cultural perfection. Then came God.
In my early 40s, church was added to my already full life, and I quickly learned that my Grandma’s standard was nothing compared to God’s standard. The impact of the 10 Commandments was discouragement and defeat for me as I began to realize how far short I was in reaching any form of perfection. Yet again, I continued to strive towards the goal of achieving both a cultural and a godly perfection.
Well, I am sure you can feel my pain, stress, anger, frustration, and disappointment! Over 40 years of grasping for a perfection that I could never reach. By now, alcoholism, bitterness, and hopelessness had also entered my heart and life. It was at this broken and sorrowful point that I fell prostrate on the floor in the family room of my home and cried to God for help! I was in trouble. Psalm 34:18:
The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.
The Lord heard my cries and saved me that day.
LIFE-GIVING ENCOURAGEMENT
We all struggle with some form of perfection. We aspire to heights beyond our reach, perfect children, perfect careers and lives, lots of money in the bank, perfect spouses, and an overall desire to please ourselves and make others like us.
As Christian women, our perfection comes not from our own efforts, and it is a gift that we didn’t earn, nor do we deserve! It’s a gift to be remembered daily as we live each day with gratitude. For me, it was a heart surgery with no anesthesia. A lot of pain was involved as God removed my heart of stone and gave me a heart filled with thanksgiving and praise! How about you?
PRAYER
Father, help us daily to remember our righteousness comes from You, and not ourselves. Help us to live in the Spirit and in Truth as we do the work that You have given us. Amen.
Pam Clarke is the retired Founder of Enduring Faith Ministries, Inc., a nonprofit organization that helped transition men and women inside and outside of prisons through the teaching of God’s Word. This ministry took her and her husband, Ron, into prisons in Delaware, Pennsylvania, New Jersey, and Maryland for approximately 12 years.
Pan is currently President and Owner of PGC Practice Management, Inc., a 31-year-old Delaware Corporation that manages mental health practices and provides medical billing and bookkeeping services to a number of doctors' offices in Delaware.
Her favorite thing is being a wife to Ron for 42 years, a Mom to Doug and Michelle, and a Grandmom to eight beautiful grandchildren, with a ninth on the way.
Are there other women in your life who could benefit from a daily dose of encouragement? Forward this email so they can click on this link to Subscribe to Daily Treasure to be better equipped to walk by faith on the pathway God has marked out for them.
Sharon W. Betters is a mother, grandmother, great-grandmother, pastor’s wife, and cofounder of MARKINC Ministries, where she is the Director of Resource Development. Sharon is the author of several books, including Treasures of Encouragement, Treasures in Darkness, and co-author with Susan Hunt of Aging with Grace. She is the co-host of the Help & Hope podcast and writes Daily Treasure, an online devotional.
Contact Sharon with comments or questions at dailytreasure@markinc.org.