When Life is Hard
Jan Dravecky, Guest Writer
Today’s Treasure
A cheerful heart brings a smile to your face;
a sad heart makes it hard to get through the day.
Proverbs 15:13 (The Message)
The topic of conversation was laughter, but you never would have guessed it from our friend Don’s expression. A successful businessman with more to do than the hours to do it in confessed – “I don’t know how to see the lighter side of life. I take life too seriously. I know I need to ‘lighten up’ but I literally don’t know how.”
Don isn’t alone. Carole feels the same way. Her husband’s death following a decade-long battle against cancer has left her with an overwhelming new job description – widow, single parent, and recovering but exhausted caregiver. “Some mornings,” she says, “it’s all I can do to get out of bed and put one foot in front of the other.” Learning to lighten up simply isn’t on her to-do list. It’s all she can do to survive.
Been there?
Well so has Beth, whose husband Chad suffered from Lou Gehrig’s disease. Chad was diagnosed when she was pregnant with their second child. For the next eighteen years daily life in their home involved life-support equipment, feeding tubes, and nurses.
Despite the challenges and uncertainty, their home was anything but gloomy. Early on in Chad’s battle, Beth made a conscious decision to look for the humor in every situation. She knew that if she didn’t the sorrow would overtake her and her family. As a result, their home was full of life and laughter – lots of it!
For Beth humor was an important coping mechanism. She agrees wholeheartedly with the person who said, “Laughter is like changing a baby’s diaper – it doesn’t permanently solve any problems but it makes things more acceptable for a while.”
Beth has learned that she is not in control of the circumstances of life. She can control only how she responds to them. Her response is of the utmost importance because her response sets the emotional tone for her entire family. She can afford to lay her problems down – to loosen her grip – so they don’t consume her every thought. She can relax because she knows who controls the circumstances and who holds her in the protection of His hand.
But what encouragement is there for individuals such as Don and Carole who find themselves in situations in which they simply are not able to see the lighter side and to make matters worse they may even feel guilty for not being able to lighten up? Oh but take heart because God gives us permission – even encouragement – to express the full range of our emotions. The Scripture says there is:
A right time to cry and another to laugh, A right time to lament and another to cheer,
Ecclesiastes 3:4 (The Message)
In their book, Dear God, It’s Cancer; authors William Fintel, M.D. and Gerald McDermott, Ph.D. emphasize that… “both tears and laughter are gifts of God – and you need them both to make it through the trials of cancer.”
So no matter how many tears we shed – no matter how deep and dark the pit we found ourselves in – we have discovered on our own journey that there is always a time to laugh and it sure makes the journey easier to endure. As the comedian Bob Hope – who had the gift to make others laugh – said… “I have seen what a laugh can do. It can transform almost unbearable tears into something bearable – even hopeful.”
On the journey with you,
Dave and Jan Dravecky
For more inspiration from Jan Dravecky visit her blog at Endurance.org or listen to the MARKINC Help & Hope podcast: Blow Away the Dark Clouds, a conversation with Jan. and her husband's Help & Hope podcast: Finding Purpose When You Lose Your Identity a conversation with Dave Drasvecky.
Are there other women in your life who could benefit from a daily dose of encouragement? Forward this email so they can click on this link to Subscribe to Daily Treasure to be better equipped to walk by faith on the pathway God has marked out for them.
Sharon W. Betters is the author of Treasures of Encouragement, Treasures in Darkness, co-author of Treasures of Faith. and co-author with Susan Hunt of Aging with Grace, Flourishing in an Anti-Aging Culture. She is Director of Resource Development and co-founder of MARKINC.org, a non-profit organization that offers help and hope to hurting people. Sharon enjoys quality time with her husband, children, fourteen grandchildren, and one great-grandchild.
Contact Sharon with comments or questions at dailytreasure@markinc.org.