When I Am Weak
Life-Giving Encouragement
Sharon W. Betters
Daily Treasure from MARKINC.org
After our son Mark’s death, several friends stayed intimately involved in my grief journey. Grief broke me, and I wasn’t easy to be around. Though I don’t remember a lot about those days, I do remember that I said the same things over and over again – to the same few people. I don’t know how they tolerated my constant crying, dark thoughts, and what must have sounded like heretical questions about God. I am confident they kept coming back because they loved me, but I think they kept coming, when staying away was most likely preferable because the Lord promised to give them the power and desire to step into the darkness with me. It wasn’t in their strength that they listened to my cries or outrageous wails. I believe God delighted in their obedience every time they picked up the phone to call, knowing they were in for a long, languishing monologue from me. They saw few reasons to believe any healing was taking place in my shattered heart. Yet, they stayed with me for the long haul. I believe they brought pleasure to their Father, because they came in His strength.
When you know the Lord wants you to go into the darkness with a friend, again, and you know there is nothing new for you to say to comfort her, go in His strength. Ask the Lord to stir up a renewed love for your friend. Often, your hurting friend doesn’t need or want words, she simply needs your tears and presence.
Years ago, a good friend experienced the “death” of a high school relationship. Her long-distance boyfriend ended what she thought was a forever love. Watching her grieve was the first time I had witnessed such pain. I was sixteen and had little hope that she would ever love again! In time, she found a steady path and realized that there is life after a break-up. I asked her what helped her the most. She described how her mother cried with her and sat on her bed while she was curled up, sobbing. Her mother said very little, but her tears and gentle presence spoke volumes. My seventeen-year-old friend told me that she felt strength and comfort coming from her mother, even though she said few words. Her mother did not belittle her grief, but instead acknowledged her daughter’s broken heart and the “right” she had to grieve the loss of this boyfriend. Her mother later told my friend that she frequently cried out to the Lord to show her the best way to help her daughter because she knew platitudes would not work.
Sometimes we make encouragement too complicated. Sometimes the most important gift we can give is to acknowledge the person’s pain and simply be there as a conduit of the love of Jesus. Ask Him to transform your heart with a desire to sit in the darkness and weep with the broken hearted, even a child or teenager, knowing there is a Light shining from His heart to yours.
LIFE-GIVING ENCOURAGEMENT
Ask the Lord what friend or family member needs your biblical encouragement today. Perhaps it’s that difficult child you just sent to school with a sigh of relief! Is it time to meet her for lunch just because? Does your husband need an intimate touch, a reassurance that though times are tough right now, you’re in this together? Remember that the Lord promises to give you His strength for those difficult moments.
PRAYER
Lord, we feel helpless in the face of broken people. Yet You promise that it is in Your strength that we can go into the darkness. Lord, we pray right now and ask that You encourage us with Your wisdom and strength and courage. Show us if that means our encouragement is simply our presence and tears.
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Sharon W. Betters is a mother, grandmother, great-grandmother, pastor’s wife, and cofounder of MARKINC Ministries, where she is the Director of Resource Development. Sharon is the author of several books, including Treasures of Encouragement, Treasures in Darkness, and co-author with Susan Hunt of Aging with Grace. She is the co-host of the Help & Hope podcast and writes Daily Treasure, an online devotional.
Contact Sharon with comments or questions at dailytreasure@markinc.org.
