The Day
by Marie Monville, Guest Writer
Today’s Treasure
“Turn to me and be gracious to me, For I am lonely and afflicted.”
Psalm 25:16
The day your world came crashing down, the date that will remain etched in your memory forever. You can barely breathe, and the breaths you do manage to take are shallow and painful. While I don’t know your specific circumstance, I know your pain. I know the debilitating shock of instantaneous life change, and I’m not going to tell you, “everything will be fine.”
Instead, I’m asking you to feel the pain. Embrace your brokenness.
I know what you’re probably thinking—get me out of here as quickly as possible. It seems easier to shove it all under the surface, deny the destruction and pretend you’re over it, for a lot of reasons. Maybe you don’t want to have to deal with everyone around you. You don’t want to see their pain. You feel responsible for them and are telling yourself that if you seem ok, then they will too. Maybe you just don’t want to face this reality, so you’re trying to convince yourself that it’s not real. But friend, you can’t avoid it. Don’t push away the pain. There’s no way you can pretend it didn’t happen. This is real. It’s your life. And it’s ok to hate it.
Close your eyes and picture me sitting across the table from you, one hand holding my coffee cup, and the other holding yours. Hear the compassion in my voice. Feel my love for you. Your life will never look the way it did yesterday, I get that, but if you ever hope to get to a place where you can bear the thought of that, then you must walk through this.
However, you don’t have to do it alone.
I am right here with you. And so is God. Maybe you’re wondering why. I understand, and so does He. It’s ok to feel angry. It’s ok to question. He can handle it. If you’re mad at him and feel like he’s abandoned you, tell him. He knows all the things that are in your heart—your emotions, your thoughts, and your words won’t drive him away. If you don’t feel like you can trust him, then I’m asking you to trust me. I’ve walked this. I’ve lived it. And yes, in some moments, I thought it just might kill me. The day I lost my daughter, the day I found out I had an ectopic pregnancy, the day my husband committed the Amish Schoolhouse Shooting, the day my father received his lung cancer diagnosis and Christmas Eve morning, 8 months later, when he suddenly passed away. Those are just a few of my “Day 0’s.” I’ve walked this road too.
LIFE-GIVING ENCOURAGEMENT
But this isn’t about me, today is your turn. The things you’re feeling, the thoughts and questions - it’s time to put them on paper. Write it out—words, phrases, sentences, a picture, whatever works for you. Be honest. Don’t hold back. Just say it. Let it out and invite Jesus in.
PRAYER
Join me in this prayer: “God, here is my brokenness, and here is my pain, all of it. I don’t want to carry it alone; I can’t carry it. It’s too much for me. Turn to me and be gracious to me, for I feel alone and broken.”
Marie Monville I’m a wife and mom of 6 kids. I recently became a “Lolli” (my term for grandma, yes my husband is “Pop”) and love everything about my sweet grandson. I’m passionate about my family and believe in the redemptive beauty of adoption. You’ll find me advocating for the older child. Family dinners are special, so they are a priority in our home. Sometimes that means a nice meal on real dishes, and other days, that’s leftovers on paper plates! I’m a dreamer, a believer, and if you’re in my circle, I’ll champion you and your goals! I love real relationships, and that means living life with authenticity. So yeah, on any given day there might be 12+ pairs of my kids’ shoes between our living and dining room; I’m still working on that! (https://mariemonville.com/about/)
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Contact Sharon with comments or questions at dailytreasure@markinc.org.