Dr. Betters,

I have recently discovered your ministry. I am very thankful for the messages that you have spoken, they have come forth in truth and in Love. I have a question BURNING in my heart and soul...I am sure that God has answered me, I sense a "cloudiness" in my understanding when it comes to this area of my life.

I have four precious children. Two of which I gave birth to. God has allowed us to adopt the third, and we are fostering to adopt our fourth.

 As a result of pregnancy, severe damage happened to my skin in several areas of my body.  I gave birth ten years ago. My husband is such a wonderful man and I know that he loves me anyway, however It has been a great insecurity for me which is often a hinderance in our intimacy. He has admitted that he liked how I looked before, but that he loves me anyway. Face lifts, tummy tucks, lip injections etc. are not uncommon in my family line, in light of this, it seems only natural to see a plastic surgeon to fix some of the damage that resulted from pregnancy.

My husband so sweetly, gave me a cheque for the amount needed in order to go through with the procedure.

I refused, feeling as though, through the eyes of eternity it was all vanity. Sounds spiritual, yet I have often thought what it would have been like if I had had the operation.  As I bring all these questions of vanity to our heavenly Father, I usually come to the conclusion that, by God's grace our intimacy, through no small miracle can be blessed in spite of all the physical "unappealing" features that I now have. However, the questions and desires regarding wether or not I should see a plastic surgeon often return to plague my mind. In our society where many physical "downfalls" can be fixed it has become increasingly harder to see where the "line" of vanity vs. need, for a plastic surgeon are drawn.

Dr. Betters,  I am sure the answer goes deeper than a mere "yes" or "no", "do it"  or "don't do it" . It all seems so superficial and vain while in the presence of a Holy God.

If God leads you to reply to this email. I pray that you would see right through the "clouds" of my understanding and speak light into this area of my life. I seem to be driven and tossed, and LONG to come to a conclusion.

Maybe you have some direction to some passages of scripture or some resources which deal with issues that are similar..

May God richly bless you Dr. Betters,

Jennifer, in Ontario Canada.

Pastor Betters responds:

Dear Jennifer,

Thanks so much for your honest and I am sure emotionally volatile question. I have had this same discussion with women who have gone through breast cancer and a mastectomy. The question always arises about breast reconstruction. My answer is always the same. If you and your husband are in agreement that it should be done you should have it done. It is a private decision that involves the sanctity of the marital bed. We live in an age of modern technology and medical advancement where these problems can be fixed. If you have the resources and if it will enhance your self esteem and your physical marital intimacy I see no reason why you would not have it done. It becomes vanity when the heart is askew with pride. I do not sense that is the case with you. I hope this helps. I am sure this is a painful decision for both of you. May you find God’s peace and joy.

In His Grip,

Dr. Chuck Betters

This message is not meant to serve as or supplant personal counseling. Neither Dr. Betters nor MARKINC Ministries, its employees, directors, or volunteers will be held responsible for the inquirer's interpretation and application of the contents of this e-mail.

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